By this time of the morning, Jesus stood alone. His disciples had fled, fearful of being arrested and possibly facing the same fate that might await their leader. Even Peter who tried to sneak around the courtyard to learn what would happen to Jesus, even Peter, denied he had been with Jesus.
Alone. Being alone is a terrible feeling. Your traditional supports are not there for you. You feel there is no hope for rescue from whatever predicament you are in. The despair of being alone is so dreadful that it can drive a person to suicide.
Telling a person full of such despair just to trust in God or say a little prayer just doesn’t cut it. It’s difficult to be with someone in despair because what we want to do is to end the feelings of desperation that accompanies the sense of being alone. It’s too easy to sanitize the Gospel narratives of that awful night, when Jesus stood alone, for he must have felt the same despair that we feel when abandoned and utterly alone.
Prayer for the Day
Holy Creator, we bring our restless hearts longing for peace,
Feeling no peace in our hearts, we are distressed;
We long for the baby in the manger, not the Jesus in Jerusalem,
Disturbing our need to feel comfortable and reassured.
Bring us into the realm of your kingdom on earth.
Holding open to us the possibilities of your love,
As did the One who showed your love to all,
Even Christ Jesus our Lord, Amen.
Thoughts for the Day
He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget fails drop by drop upon the heart, and in our despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.
- Aeschylus, Greek playwright, from Agamemnon (525/524-456 BCE)
Despair speaks evenly, even in a quiet voice.
- Ursula K Le Guin, novelist (1929-2018)
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;
And by night, but find no rest.
Psalm 22: 1-2